I went to a women’s only Rain City Rock Camp this weekend. Basically, they take women who never played an instrument, (or maybe new to it) and stick them with other new people, put them into a band. We had 3 days to learn an instrument, write a song, learn the song, and play it in front of a packed house. No big deal. It was awesome.
In the middle of band practice on Sunday, there was this one part that wasn’t jelling for me, but everyone else had got it. I needed a little more time with it, but I didn’t want to hold people back. I said,
“I just need to get that down better.”
“Oh, sure, we’ll loop around the same part while you get it. It’s called ‘holding the cookie‘. We’ll hold your cookie”
They did, and I did, and I got back the cookie.
What a great metaphor for doing hard things in life. Do it with cool people who support you while you figure your shit out. I feel like our runners hold each other up, and hold the cookies.
Personally, I have a hard time asking for help, cause I feel like I have a whole cookie jar that needs to be held. But I have learned, people are usually happy to help, and support me and each other. I am so grateful for those people.
5 Ways To Be A Good Cookie Holder.
Congratulate people on their success: Cheer, shout, make a freaking big deal about big accomplishments. Remember when you did something that was hard, and cheer from that place.
Show Up! Show up when you say you’ll be there. It’s that easy.
High 5’s: Simple, easy, fast, and makes people feel great.
Bring extra goodies: Great for on the run or afterward. If you see someone struggling, offer them a snack or water. It makes a difference, and you’ll have a happier running buddy.
Know when to give the cookie back: Set boundaries if you are a person who holds all the cookies. Find out how many cookies you can hold, and for how long. Find language that lets you relinquish your load, and gracefully send the cookie jar back to the rightful owner. (If you are new or curious about setting boundaries, please check out my go-to Brene Brown. )
Thanks for holding my cookies!