In the beginning, there was just running. It was running away from something, like from a saber tooth tiger, or a tsunami. Or chasing after something, like dinner that had four legs. And that was pretty much the end it. Running; going away or towards something using your legs, and moving at a fast speed. Fast forward on your 8 track player to the 70’s when jogging became a thing, (or asRon Burgandy calls it, “yogging”) and that just meant, running, but not all out, trying not to die, pace.
After that, it just got all kinds of gummed up with descriptions and vocabulary to basically describe the same thing we are all doing, running from something scary, or something that we want.
So, I have devised a tongue in cheek vocab list for running vernacular. Enjoy!
Race Pace: The goal pace you want to run for the next race you are entered in that you have a time goal for. But if your goal is to finish upright, then your race pace is not falling down.
Fartleks: It’s a Swedish word for meatball. No wait, that’s not right. I just am craving meatballs right now. It means speed play in Sweedish and makes me giggle when I say it. Any kind of fast/slow/fast interval work out can be a Fartleck.
Tempo pace: A faster pace that is continued over a longer period of time, like 3-8 miles. It’s can be a race pace, but not sprinting.
Sprint: This is an anaerobic pace that you only sustain for a short period of time. It’s an all out, run as fast as you can at 100% effort. Also might wanna barf by the end.
Half marathon: 26.2 divided by 2.
10k: 6.2 miles
5k: 6.2 miles divided by 2.
Ultra: Don’t worry about it.
Endorphins: What to chase after, and sometimes catch.
Runners trot: You ate something bad, and need to find a bathroom 5 minutes ago, and you can’t quite run.
Junk miles: After eating junk food, you run junk miles, unless you get the runners trots.
Chafing: When your inner thighs love each other very much and want to rub on each other for miles and miles, they will leave a mark that makes you scream when you get in the shower.